


Anywhere But Here Or There

by Jinxter



Category: Season of Love (2019)
Genre: F/F, Mardou POV, Mardou isn't interested in being Iris' rebound, Slow Burn, Sue isn't so quick to forgive a betrayal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 16:53:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21832537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jinxter/pseuds/Jinxter
Summary: "That sounded like a call no one should have to make right before a wedding," a voice says behind her in a sweet English accent.Mardou spins around to see a beautiful woman stepping out from a shaded area underneath an oak tree. Her gorgeous blue wrap dress accentuates her tanned skin, and she smiles after a brief commiserating grimace, tucking a lock of her long brown hair behind her ear.She closes her mouth and clears her throat. "Sorry, I didn't realise anyone else was here."
Relationships: Mardou/Sue
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	1. December 21st, 2019

**Author's Note:**

> Alternate spin on things, smushing my two faves together.  
Not beta'd, all mistakes are my own.  
Queery Christmas, lady lovers!

**December 21**

The flowers are gorgeous, it's the one thing Mardou's thoughts keep coming back to. Whoever arranged the wedding flowers did an amazing job, with the arch above where her brother and his fiancee will take their vows absolutely taking the cake. White roses, hanging purple flowers, the glossy green leaves and vines, all matching the small, tasteful table decorations.

Mardou leans against the wall and checks the time on her phone, her brow dipping into a frown. She pushes off the wall, smiles and steps aside for the caterer, heading back towards the kitchen with a large tray of food covered in foil. She knocks on the bathroom door. "Theo?"

A moment of silence passes, and she knocks again. "Theo, are you okay in there?"

Again, silence. Pushing open the door slightly, she warns of her arrival. "Hello? Anyone in here?" As the door opens wider she can see no one is standing at the urinals or sinks, and in the mirror she can see the row of stalls. "Theo, it's normal to be anxious, but you're going to be fine."

The door squeaks as it closes behind her, and she glances along the row of door latches, all green and reading 'vacant'. All of them. "Theo?" She pushes each door as she walks back along the row, each swinging open to reveal nothing but an empty stall. "Shit."

Mardou pulls her phone back out of her pocket and dials her brother, feeling her stress levels rise at having lost track of the groom right before the ceremony. She pinches the bridge of her nose as the line trills in her ear. 

The door opens suddenly and she jumps, the bewildered server hesitates when he sees her and checks again the somewhat-outdated "Gentlemen" sign on the door before looking back at her pointedly. She was a gentlewoman and the groomswoman, for fuck's sake, what did it matter if she was there? It's not like peeing is some secret ritual, everyone does it.

She huffs out a sigh and leaves, like she was going to anyway, and steps past him as he holds the door open for her, back out into the covered walkway of the rear balcony overlooking the lush garden of the estate.

The call goes to voicemail, and she hangs up. Striding purposefully around to the ceremony area where the chairs were all lined up waiting to be filled with family and friends of the couple, and she scans the area for her brother, to no avail. She re-dials his number and walks quickly out into the garden, scanning among the trees and hedges, hoping to find him, even if he is having some kind of last minute freak out. She can't help him get himself back on track if she can't find him.

The call goes to voicemail again, she hangs up and calls a third time, getting desperate as she is now pacing towards the gazebo at the side of the pond, surrounded by small, flowering trees. This call goes to voicemail as well, but after only three rings, and she feels anger swell through the rising panic. Instead of hanging up, she waits for the beep.

"Theo, don't you avoid my calls, you idiot. Where the hell are you?" She sighs, pauses, and feels the anger subside into worry. "Please tell me you're still here somewhere. Don't do anything crazy without talking to me first, it's going to be fine. Talk to me if you have the jitters, we'll get through it. Fuck, just call me back right now, Theo."

She hangs up and looks at the clock on her phone; an hour and ten minutes until go-time. Not long until the guests start arriving, and she wonders how late she can leave it before letting the bride and her bridesmaids know there's a hitch -- or perhaps, that there might not be a hitch after all.

"That sounded like a call no one should have to make right before a wedding," a voice says behind her in a sweet English accent. 

Mardou spins around to see a beautiful woman stepping out from a shaded area underneath an oak tree. Her gorgeous blue wrap dress accentuates her tanned skin, and she smiles after a brief comiserating grimace, tucking a lock of her long brown hair behind her ear.

She closes her mouth and clears her throat. "Sorry, I didn't realise anyone else was here."

The woman smiles sheepishly. "I know, I'm here very early. Janey didn't want me to have to take three busses to get here so I arrived with her and have just been wandering around while they get ready. Sorry to overhear you on the phone. You must be Theo's sister. Mardou, is it?"

Mardou nods, still a little in shock at the turn of events and at the secret of her brother's sudden disappearance now being not-so-secret. "Yes," she says, "and you are...?"

The woman holds out her hand. "Sue. Janey's girlfriend. She mentioned you after the rehearsal dinner," she explains.

Mardou fears her hand may be clammy from her rising panic, but she takes the woman's hand in her own anyway and shakes it, feeling the woman -- Sue -- squeeze slightly before they let go. "Janey. Iris' cousin, right? She mentioned me?"

Sue blushes slightly. "Well yes, although mostly she was just amused that the wedding party consists entirely of queer women. Other than the groom, of course. Who I take it is now... momentarily misplaced?"

"Yeah, um," Mardou casts her eye around the garden again on the off-chance he's miraculously appeared again, "you haven't happened to see him within the last ten minutes, have you?"

"I'm afraid not, I've just been down here all by myself trying to calm some anxious nerves of my own."

Mardou cocks her head at the admission. "Oh, are you okay?"

Sue nods. "Yes, thank you. I'll be fine. I just hate coming to things alone. Well, I know I'm not alone but everyone I know is in the wedding party, so I'll be by myself among the guests for most of the time with nothing to focus on but my thoughts."

"Well, if it helps, would you like to focus on quietly helping me find my brother without alerting anyone to the fact he has absconded?"

Sue nods, "Certainly."

They split up, checking the rest of the garden before heading back to the ceremony area and surrounding buildings, reception area, kitchen, bathrooms, and meet again in the carpark near the front entrance.

"Any sign of him?" Mardou asks, catching up to Sue.

Sue shakes her head. "Unfortunately not." She casts her eyes around the parking lot. "Did he drive here?"

"No, I did. We--" Mardou is interrupted by her phone vibrating. She looks at Sue with wide eyes upon seeing her brother's name on the screen, curses under her breath, and shows her the accompanying message.

"Oh dear," Sue says softly.

While Sue goes off to find the venue manager, Mardou takes a breath and goes into the room where the bride and bridesmaids are getting ready to break the bad news. Janey sees her first and can tell by the look on her face something is wrong and starts to come over to her. Her eyes move to Iris, standing facing the mirror, a beaming smile on her face, and Mardou's heart sinks at knowing that is about to change. 

Iris sees Mardou in the mirror's reflection and turns, her smile dropping as the seconds tick by. She doesn't even need to say anything before the bride-to-be's expression turns to disbelief and horror, Mardou clenches her jaw and mentally curses her brother. 

Minutes after the gut-wrenching blow has been delivered, the shock remains. The venue staff are now aware that the wedding has been called off, and everyone is fumbling around trying to figure out what to do. The only easy supplier had been the DJ who had quickly packed up his equipment and left, but the venue manager, florist, and caterer all had questions that needed answers, none of which Iris could seem to comprehend in her stunned state.

They manage to get an answer from the bride about the food, eventually, with Iris wanting it to be donated to a soup kitchen, and they figure the venue and suppliers can figure out what to do with the rest of it themselves.

Iris grasps Mardou's hand as she moves to leave. "You'll be home again tonight, right?"

"I think I'll just get a hotel room and give you some privacy," Mardou replies.

"No, please, just stay at our place like we originally planned." She looks up at Mardou with mascara-streaked cheeks and pleading eyes. "Besides," she continues, "it'd be nice to have you around in case Theo decides to return your calls."

As Mardou nods and leaves, Janey follows her out of the room, picking up a binder file on her way. 

"Sue, hey," she says, looking between her girlfriend and Mardou as Sue casts the groomswoman a knowing, sympathetic look. "So you've heard."

Her girlfriend nods. "Yes, I'm afraid. I was helping Mardou to look for him when the message arrived." She points to the binder. "What's that?"

"Oh, well Iris is so organised, she has this wedding planned to the very last detail," Janey looks up at the other women, "well, maybe not the very last, I doubt she planned for _this_. But anyway, there's a guest list in here with contact details. Maybe someone should call everyone, turn them back before they start arriving?"

"It's too late for some, there are a few people already here," Sue says, indicating to the foyer where a couple of early arrivers have gathered.

"Yikes," Janey says. "Okay, well I guess we'll go talk to them."

Mardou takes the binder from Janey. "It's good thinking to get ahead of the people still on their way, though. We'll take care of that."

Janey takes both Sue's hands into her own. "We'll get Iris sorted out and take her home. Do you want me to order you an Uber? Or do you want to come with us?"

Sue squeezes her girlfriend's hands. "No, it's okay," she listens to the sniffling coming from the dressing room, "I wouldn't want to crowd her or intrude, I think she just needs her best friends right now. I'll find my way home."

"I can drive you, if you need me to," Mardou offers.

Sue starts to refuse but Janey speaks first. "Oh, thanks Mardou," she says, and pulls her girlfriend in for a quick kiss goodbye, "I'll call you later?"

With a slight frown, Sue nods and brushes her thumb over her girlfriend's cheek. "Alright," She gives her another quick peck and releases her hand to leave with the groomswoman as Janey ducks back inside to the devastated bride.

The venue manager isn't as gracious about receiving the binder information, and despite the guest list for the intimate wedding being relatively small, she balks at the idea that she and her staff should make the calls.

"The costs for today are non-refundable, at this point, am I correct?" The brusque woman nods at Mardou. "So my brother has paid you for another," she looks at the time, "approximately eight hours of occupation and service, for which you will no longer need to supply and can send your staff home early, correct?" The woman nods again. "And I assume most of them are on hourly contracts and won't be paid for their shortened workday?" The woman hesitates and narrows her eyes but doesn't deny it. "So you'll be making even more of a profit on top of being able to go home early yourself?" 

The woman sighs heavily before taking the binder from Mardou's hands and flops it open to the clearly tagged guest list page.

"Thank you for your assistance," Mardou says coolly, and turns, gracefully holding her elbow out to link into Sue's as they walk away.

"That was amazing," Sue leans closer and whispers with a chuckle.

"It was a fair request," Mardou smiles down at the shorter woman, and pats the hand on her forearm. "Now, let's find the caterer and figure out where to take this food."

"Well, if it helps, there's quite a busy homeless shelter in the city, near where I busk. I'm sure they'd be grateful to receive it."

"Perfect."

The traffic begins to get heavier as the pair get closer to the city, Mardou changes lanes only for it to slow down, and she sighs and seeks distraction from her frustration. "So you said the entire wedding party other than Theo was queer women?"

"Yes, isn't it great? Well, it would have been, I suppose."

Mardou hums. "Even Iris?"

Sue's lips part, she takes a breath, then closes her mouth without speaking a word, her eyes never leaving the road ahead. She swallows, then stalls for time. "Umm... shit." 

"It's okay, you can stop freaking out. I'm sure there's no reason she wouldn't have told me, it just never came up."

"Sorry," Sue says, "I honestly thought everyone knew she was bi. I feel awful."

Mardou rolls her eyes. "Please, don't. Everyone probably does and maybe she just didn't realise Theo hadn't told me already. Seriously, you kiss one of your brother's girlfriends in high school and suddenly he never tells you when you might have a chance with any of them anymore." She winks at her passenger.

Sue chortles. "No! Really?"

"She was way out of his league anyway," Mardou says with a shrug and a cocky grin, "he never would have been able to hold on to her in the long run."

Sue smiles back and shakes her head in amusement. After they crawl to yet another set of traffic lights, she sniffs the air and glances at the trays stacked in the back seat of Mardou's rental car. "Do you think the food will be alright? I can smell fish. Should we be able to smell fish? I'm vegan so I can't remember if it is supposed to smell that way. Is it going off?"

"I think it's the scallops, and they smell fine. The blue cheese dressing for the cauliflower is adding a confusing layer of funk to the overall smell, though."

Sue laughs. "That sounds like a band name. Confusing Layer of Funk."

Mardou joins her with a chuckle. "So, speaking of bands, you said you busk? Do you sing? Play an instrument?"

"I play guitar," Sue says. "I'm in a band too. We don't get enough gigs to pay all the bills, unfortunately, but the schedule is quite good and being able to busk whenever it suits me makes it work for me. It's not always easy to predict when I'll need to stay home and look after my mum, or take her to her appointments."

"You look after your mom?"

Sue looks down at her hands in her lap. "Yes, she's... umm, she has cancer."

"I'm sorry," Mardou says, taking her eyes off the road for a moment to make eye contact with her passenger. "Is she... how is she...?"

"There's nothing more they can do, now," Sue says softly, and looks out the side window at the people strolling along the footpath. "I've moved back in with her and we're just trying to make the most of the time she has left."

Mardou reaches over the centre console and places her hand on top of Sue's. She gives it a gentle squeeze before returning her hand to the wheel. "That must be really difficult. I'm sorry."

Sue smiles weakly. "Thank you." She takes a deep breath and lets it go, straightening herself up as she does. "What about you, what do you do?"

"I'm a producer."

"For what, television? Film?"

"Music," Mardou says with a smile.

"Oh gosh," Sue says, "do you work with anyone I'd know?"

"Maybe," Mardou points up ahead, "is it this street?"

Sue looks out the windscreen of the car and nods. "Yes, turn right at the next street and the kitchen is just up there on the right." She points to a city park on their left as they approach the turn. "That's where I usually come to busk. Have you been there?"

"No, I haven't."

"It's beautiful," Sue says wistfully, "it has a really good vibe."

They turn up the next street and pull in to the nearest parking space to the kitchen, and with a couple of trips to and from the car, manage to get all the food into the building. 

As they walk back to the car for the last time, Sue slows to a stop. "Thank you for driving me back to town, I really appreciate it."

Mardou looks slightly confused. "It was my pleasure," she points at the car, "am I driving you home?"

"No," Sue says with a shake of her head, "it's fine, thank you. There's a bus stop just up here which goes straight to my house. I don't want to put you out any further today."

"It's really no problem, I'd be happy to."

Sue shifts her weight to the other foot and rubs her arm. "Thank you, but honestly, it's fine. You probably want to get back to finding the runaway groom anyway."

"Theo, right," Mardou says, trying to hide the fact she hadn't thought about him at all during most of their journey into town. "Yes. I do. Well, thanks for coming with me to drop off the food."

"Of course. Good luck."

Mardou smiles and nods. "Take care, Sue." She watches the smaller woman walk away for a moment before looking around and spying a coffee shop nearby. Needing a boost for the mission ahead, she orders one and climbs back into her car. Her phone dings with a new message.

_[Candace] You still in town? Would love to see you._

Mardou hesitates a moment. There's still no further reply from Theo and his phone is now switched off, going straight to voicemail. It has been a stressful day and though her enthusiasm for visiting her fuckbuddy is somewhat lacking, she wonders if blowing off some steam will turn her day around. Or at least make her less likely to actually kill her brother when she finds him.

_I'll be right over._

Mardou rings the bell at the security gate of Candace's parents' house, and is buzzed in a moment later. "Meet you in the courtyard in a minute, babe," comes a giggly voice, the sound tinny over the speaker. Mardou walks around to the outdoor area, lights strung up above and a fire burning in the fire pit. She takes a seat on the wicker sofa and waits, trying to psych herself into a little more excitement than she's currently feeling.

Candace appears from the pool house, champagne bottle in hand. She walks towards her, her steps uneven, clearly intoxicated, and Mardou feels her enthusiasm take another hit. But Candace straddles her lap without a word, Mardou's hands sliding up the woman's waist and over her ribs, and their lips are on each other, hungry and searching. The champagne on the other woman's tongue is a little sour and sharp, so Mardou tries to focus on how her little black wrap dress has ridden up and she's grinding into her lap instead.

They part, and Candace sits back slightly, her fingers toying with her boutonnière. "This is nice. You just come from a banquet? Or a wedding?" She leans forward to kiss Mardou again, who leans back, trying to avoid thinking about the wedding, the devastation on Iris' face, that her brother won't even return her calls and she doesn't know whether to comfort him or be angry with him. "Is that what you're in town for?"

Mardou pulls her close with a hand on the nape of her neck, halts her questions by firmly pressing their lips together, and with her eyes closed she tries to forget everything, forget it all, forget her responsibilities and just be... nothing. Just feel. The trouble is, somehow she wants to feel, and this isn't doing it for her.

Candace breaks away and leans back again. "Glad you could make time for me," she says, and leans over for the champagne bottle. She holds it to her lips and tips it back, drinking the last of it in one gulp. "Whoops," she says, "I'm gonna get another bottle. You want some?" 

Mardou sighs. This really isn't doing it, being with someone who doesn't know her, doesn't really want to know her, who she doesn't want to open up to, but she has told Candace multiple times already over their encounters that she doesn't drink, she just obviously doesn't care enough to remember. She gives up. "No, thank you."

"Please don't tell me you're still doing that sobriety thing," Candace says, like it's some fad diet or last month's influencer craze. Mardou bites her tongue and simply doesn't respond. "Oh well," Candace says, standing up, "More for me. Make yourself at home, I'll be right back."

Mardou knows that making herself at home is their personal shorthand for stripping off, but she clasps her hands and bows her head, the realisation settling into her bones that she's truly not up for this tonight. She welcomes the distraction of her phone ringing, hoping it will be a good excuse to leave on it's own, so she doesn't have to explain, and she feels a wave of relief - for multiple reasons - when she sees her brother's name on the screen.

"Theo. Where the hell did you go? Where are you?"

In the ensuing call he barely explains his cowardly departure, barely gives any detail about where he's going or why, but she doesn't need much convincing to comply with his plea to check on Iris. She's pissed as hell at her brother for putting her in this position, but knows in her heart that she needs to make sure Iris is okay tonight, not just for him. For herself. Iris didn't deserve this. And even Candace, who barely cares for her at all, doesn't deserve her half-assed attempt to numb herself.

What feels like one of Mardou's longest days ever, well, since rehab anyway, stretches on as she stands again on a doorstep, her fingers poised to press the bell. Inside she can hear women talking, and can tell they've been drinking. She sighs, again having been put in the position by her brother to break the bad news to Iris and to once again have to pick up the pieces.

While she and Iris had spent a fair amount of time together in the past, and family gatherings, holidays, the odd business trip where she had opted to stay with her brother than a hotel or some girl's place, she's not what she'd consider a close friend. Although always lovely and warm, Iris kept a barrier between herself and others, just a slight harmless aloofness to her demeanour, which felt more protective of herself than any reflection or insult to anyone around her. But today, that was coming crashing down as she flailed in the aftermath of the aborted wedding.

Mardou didn't even quite realise she had actually pressed the bell until the door is pulled open and a stressed-looking Lou says "oh thank god." There's shuffling and grunting down the hallway, and concern floods Mardou as she brushes past the tall bridesmaid and walks into the living room to find Iris crawling across the floor, only partially dressed and very obviously drunk out of her mind. Janey is trying, and failing, to help her back up to her feet. 

Iris notices the extra pair of feet and reaches out, her fingers tracing gently over the delicate bones in Mardou's feet and the patent leather of her heels. Her eyes meander upwards to the brunette's face.

Frustration rises as Mardou takes in the state of Iris, and she glares at Janey, as she looks up at her from where she's crouched next to her cousin. Mardou is used to being one of the only sober people nowadays, especially at events like weddings and during the holiday season, but for some reason today it grates on her more than usual. She knows Iris will suffer dreadfully for her attempt at temporary relief tomorrow morning, which is the last thing she'll need while dealing with Theo's abandonment. 

"Whose idea was this?"

Lou begins to speak, but Iris somewhat proudly accepts responsibility. "I did this!" She laughs and turns to her cousin, the movement putting her off balance despite already being on her knees. "I did all of this!" She falls forward onto the floor with no attempt to get back up. She rolls over onto her side, and her laughter turns to anguish, "this is all my fault."

Finally returning to her knees, Iris clings onto Mardou's trouser legs, holding tight to keep her balance. "Did you... Have you heard from him yet? Is Theo coming home?"

Iris looks up at her, desperate, destroyed. About to be destroyed further by what she's forced to say. "No." The blonde's grip remains firm but she slumps, her eyes falling back to the floor. "But he did want me to make sure that you were okay," she glances up at Janey, who has utterly failed at keeping Iris from spiralling into the mess she is now, "which is ridiculous because you're obviously not okay."

"I am just fine, thank you very much," Iris grouches from the floor, reaching for a dining chair to help her to her feet.

"You are obviously just fine," Mardou says with a placating smile.

Iris, still on her knees, lurches towards her again, grabbing onto her trouser legs. "But you're gonna stay here tonight, right? Like we planned?"

"Yeah, sure, I'll stay here tonight," Mardou assures her.

"Thank you," Iris says, her facade beginning to crumble and tears returning. 

Mardou reaches for her, looping her arm around the blonde's back to help her up to her feet. "But if I'm staying here as a temporary roommate, I'm going to ask that you stop drinking for now," Iris nods emphatically, a movement probably not well received by her drunken brain, "and we get you to bed. Okay?" 

Iris swirls her finger in an uneven midair circle and boops Mardou on the nose, which seems to serve as agreement to the terms laid out. 

Mardou chuckles. "Come on," she chuckles, "say goodnight."

"Goodnight," Iris slurs, her eyes too droopy to even look at her bridesmaids. Lou and Janey head for the door, to Mardou's relief, and she sets to putting Iris to bed.


	2. December 22nd, 2019

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I accidentally posted chapter 1 before it was quite ready so I've done a little update on it. No substantial changes, no need to re-read if you don't want it, it was just a few tweaks.
> 
> This chapter took a lot more effort, but a fair amount of the rest of the story is already written so updates should hopefully be a bit more regular. Artistic licence on the timeline of events, just a smidge! Hope you enjoy!

**December 22**

It's a little out of her way, but Mardou makes her way back to the same coffee shop she went to the day before instead of going to the Mom and Pop one nearest to Iris' house, which she hadn't been impressed by the day on she'd arrived into town. No, the one she had stopped into after parting ways with Sue outside the soup kitchen had been far better. 

There's a queue and no free tables, so she leans against the wall, waiting for her order to be called and uses the time to process the early-morning encounter with her brother. A small part of her regrets not hitting him when she had the chance and could blame it on not recognising him. 

That he had the gall to ask what she was doing there. What was she doing there? Cleaning up his mess! Putting out the fire he lit when he set fire to the happy little life he and Iris had spent years nurturing. What was she doing there!

What _was_ she doing there?

Iris has friends closer than her. Well, she has her cousin, and Lou, and... she racks her brain for the other bridesmaid's name. Where were they?

Sue's off-handed remark about Iris being queer, well she didn't read too much into it at the time, but since a very drunken Iris had insisted she climb into bed with her until she fell asleep, wrapped herself around her... well Mardou had been thinking about it. She knew Iris was struggling. Flailing. Drowning? Possibly willing to grab on to anyone nearby who will stop her from sinking.

_It's not about you_, she reminds herself.

There has always been an easy rapport between her and Iris, they clicked the first time they met, and she's obviously a very beautiful woman. There was some level of attraction.

But Mardou, especially sober Mardou, had made much more of an effort than teenage Mardou had, to stop her mind from even going further when a woman was out of reach. Since their parents... since Theo was all she had left, now, Iris had definitely always been on the no-go list. She couldn't risk jeopardising the one person who had been a stable feature in through her worst times. Well, stable until now.

And completely disregarding the damage it could do to her relationship with her brother, Iris herself was far from stable. As much as Iris might think she wants to fall into Mardou's waiting arms, as much as Mardou wants to gather up the hurt woman and take care of her, how would either of them ever know if it was something _real_ or just a rebound? 

No, it can't happen. Whatever the it is that is starting to surface between them can not come to anything, that's for sure.

What surprises Mardou most, though, is how much a part of her, a part of her she thought didn't exist, longed for more than a fuckbuddy, more than a casual fling. She'd not allowed herself to want the security, the commitment of an actual relationship in a long time, and the feeling of that door being opened again inside her both excites and terrifies her.

"Maddie," the barista calls out, rousing Mardou from her thoughts. She glances up and sees the woman looking at her. Oh.

"Thank you," she says, collecting the two cups. The barista winks at her, and she smiles back. Maybe some other time. As she adjusts them in her hands to exits she notices the phone number written on the serviette, and, glancing back, sees the barista smile as she watches Mardou go.

She steps out of the coffee shop and looks at her car parked across the street, but turns instead towards the park that Sue had pointed out to her. A short stroll won't delay her return to her now-no-longer-to-be sister-in-law by much.

She hears the guitar before she sees the musician, and she's not sure whether she knows somehow in her bones that the delightful sound is coming from Sue or she just hopes it is, but when the shorter brunette comes into view, perched on her stool, her face calm and soft as her fingers dance over the chords and pluck at the strings, she feels a warmth swell within her.

The song is gentle, a little funky, and Sue plays it flawlessly. Mardou watches and listens until the song ends. Sue doesn't see Mardou approach from the side, and only turns to face her when Mardou speaks.

"You play beautifully." She gives the last word the most emphasis, truly impressed by the woman's talent.

"Mardou, hi! Thank you,"

"And you have great stage presence. Do you sing too?" Mardou asks, her interest swaying toward the professional.

"Uhh," Sue hesitates, her blush deepening, "well, I can sing, but I don't."

"Anxiety?"

Sue nods. "Yes, very much so."

Mardou shrugs and smiles. "I understand."

Leaning forward, her arms crossed over the top of her guitar, Sue asks, "So Janey said last night that you managed to get in contact with Theo in the end?"

"Yes, he finally called me back." Mardou thinks back on the evening before; the blessed interruption to her encounter with Candace, her frustration with the bridesmaids at the state of Iris upon her return to her house. She remembers the struggle to get the drunken woman into bed, and the way Iris had clung to her, crying, until she finally succumbed to sleep, allowing Mardou to finally step into a hot shower and climb into her own bed in the spare room. She remembers her adrenaline-pounding wake-up to the sound of someone else in the house.

"I actually saw him this morning, as well. He showed up at the apartment, I nearly beat him with a candlestick thinking he was an intruder."

Sue gasps. "Oh my god. You didn't though, right?"

"No, lucky for him, although I did consider it for _just_ a moment even after I realised it was him," she jokes.

Sue chuckles briefly before her smile becomes a bit of a grimace. "How did Iris go, with seeing him again? Is that why you've escaped the house for a while?"

"No, no. She slept through his visit, thankfully. She was still asleep when I left her."

"She's passed out solidly then? It did sound like she was in quite a state by the time Janey left." Sue tucks a few hairs that have escaped her pony tail behind her ear.

Mardou nods in agreement and sighs. "Alcohol doesn't solve anything. I should know," she adds softly. She holds up the two coffee cups in her hands. "I'm hoping this will help, though."

"You're a good friend, Mardou. She's lucky to have you."

Mardou feels her cheeks warm slightly at the compliment. "Thank you." She smiles, and Sue returns it with her own. "Sorry, she says, can I get you one? Coffee? Tea?"

"That's very kind of you to offer, thank you," Sue says, "but no."

"Alright. Well, I'd better let you get back to busking. I wouldn't want to deprive the world from a moment more of your beautiful music." 

Sue grins at her. 

Mardou hesitates just a moment. "And, umm," she stacks the coffees one on top of the other and reaches into her pocket. She holds out a business card to the seated woman. "If you ever feel ready to share more of your music with the world, please give me a call. You're really good."

Sue looks at the card for a moment, her mouth open slightly in surprise. Slowly she reaches out and takes the card, stares at it a moment, and rubs her thumb across the embossed name. "Thank you." Mardou smiles one last time and walks away. She glances back when she reaches the edge of the park to see Sue playing again but watching her leave, and she finds her hand raising to wave goodbye without even thinking about it. Sue nods her head with a smile and continues playing.

\-----

Mardou has her laptop open to reply to her work emails, it's quicker than doing it on her phone, and she's halfway through her second when she hears Iris padding barefooted down the hallway behind her. The blonde lingers in the doorway a moment, then stumbles in and flops down onto the sofa, face down. She groans with an obvious deep suffering that Mardou remembers all too well.

She quickly finishes and sends the email and closes her laptop, places it next to her, and turns her attention to the other woman. "Morning," she says, trying to gauge just how terrible Iris is feeling.

"Morning," Iris grumbles in reply, still trying to bury her face in a cushion. 

Mardou slides the coffee she'd bought across the table to her friend. "I bought this for you. Vanilla latte, that's what you like, isn't it?" Iris doesn't move or respond. "It should still be fairly warm, or I can heat it up if you need me to."

Iris turns slightly and looks at the cup, her face still more pale than usual. "Thanks." She makes no move to reach for it, wallowing instead in her own private hell.

"If you need something greasy to eat, I can fix you something up real quick. Or I can go pick something up. Whatever you like."

"That's really nice of you, but" Iris slowly pushes herself up to a sitting position, "I think I'm alright for now."

Mardou leans forward, resting her elbows on her knees. "Hey, what you did yesterday, donating all that food to the soup kitchen, the people who use that service were extremely grateful to you."

"Yeah?" Iris' question is quiet, fragile, and tension appears in her face as more memories of the day before come to mind.

"Yeah," Mardou echoes, and looks down. She'd wanted to try to start Iris' day on a positive note, well, as much as she could under the circumstance, but now is unsure if reminding her of the previous day was the right move. But she also doesn't feel right withholding information from her, and now the band-aid had been ripped off she figures she may as well get it over with and tells her about Theo's appearance just before dawn that morning.

Iris is understandably mad, not necessarily at her, but quickly cycles through confusion, hurt, and into despair before falling back onto the couch, crying.

Mardou awkwardly reaches out and pats the blonde's back to comfort her, rubbing gently to calm her. She lets her cry a minute, then starts to tell her about her mother's practice of allowing her and Theo to feel their feelings and cry for two minutes and two minutes only, after which they were to pick themselves up and carry on again. Iris doesn't reply, her face still buried, sobbing into a cushion. 

"You've got about a minute left," Mardou says, still rubbing her back with the occasional squeeze of her shoulder, "then it is time to pick yourself back up again."

She removes her hand and sits back in her chair, and Iris emerges from her burrow on the couch, eyes red-rimmed and damp but no longer crying.

Mardou raises an eyebrow. "You good?"

Iris sniffles. "No, Mardou, I'm far from good," she says firmly.

Mardou kicks herself again, hating being in this situation, feeling so far out of her depth trying to provide comfort she's not sure she knows how to give to someone she's beginning to realise maybe she didn't really know all that well, not underneath it all. Not at the level of friendship required for this kind of... putting-back-together. Still, Lou and Janey bailed as soon as they could, so she has to muddle on regardless.

"But you're right," Iris continues, "I need to keep going." She slowly sits up, tear tracks glistening around her eyes. "I just don't know what to do."

With a relieved smile, Mardou launches into action. This is where she's confident, not talking and comforting, but doing things. "Well, what would you like to do?" 

\-----

Seeing a horror movie isn't quite what Mardou expected Iris to choose, but it is something, nonetheless, and seems to keep her happy while all that is expected of Mardou is to physically be there next to her. That she can manage. Still, she's a little relieved when the movie lets out and the darkness, literal and metaphorical, is replaced by the bright winter sun of the shopping centre courtyard, surprisingly empty for this time of year.

What she doesn't expect is to be greeted by the ray of light that is Sue's beaming smile, as she walks past on her girlfriend's arm, her hand dipping into a small red and white box she was carrying. "Sue," Mardou says, without even thinking.

The brunette, walking quickly, almost passes her, but stops at the sound of her own name. "Oh, hello again!" Her eyes flick over to Iris, and there's relief in her eyes to see the blonde also smiling. "Hello Iris, it's good to see you." She emphasises the genuineness of her enquiry with a squeeze to Iris' denim-clad upper arm.

"Hey," Janie says, and leans in to hug her cousin, "you look a lot better than I expected you to today."

Iris smiles. "Thanks, I think?" She looks at Mardou. "I owe it all to this one. She peeled me off the couch this morning, gave me a good talking to, and dragged me up out of my misery."

"Aw," Mardou grins, "come on now. I didn't drag you, you're the one who picked yourself up."

Iris nudges her with her shoulder. "Maybe, but only after you said exactly what I needed to hear."

They chuckle, and Mardou looks up to see Sue watching her. She holds her gaze for a moment before they all look to Janey when she speaks.

"Did you guys just see a movie?" She points to the cinema foyer in the direction the pair had been coming from.

"Yes," Iris grins, pointing to the grisly poster behind her, "that one!"

Janey looks surprised. "A horror film?"

"Yes," Iris exclaims joyously, "it was amazing! There was this scene with a chainsaw, and they had these headcages. Ugh, it was so disgusting, but awesome!" She gestures with her hands and grins widely at the memory.

"Oh, I can't bear to watch horror films," Sue says, cringing.

Mardou laughs. "Me neither, usually."

"Oh no, you didn't like it? You should have said something," Iris says, her hand grasping Mardou's forearm, "I'd gladly see what you want to see."

"No, it was okay. Really. Today we are doing what you want to do, remember?"

"Well what if what I want to do is make sure you're having fun hanging out with me?" Iris' eyebrow raises up along with the corners of her mouth.

Out of the corner of her eye, Mardou catches a glance pass between Janey and Sue, and she tenses just a little. She wonders if she's imagining the slight flirtation she's picking up on and shrugs off the comment with a soft laugh. "You could have taken me to a sportsball game, I would still have been happy. Today is for you."

Iris' voice is barely above a whisper. "Really?"

"Sportsball," Janey snickers.

"Is that a real thing," Sue asks, a whisper of a confused wrinkle between her brows.

Mardou laughs, shaking her head. "No, I'm just not a sports fan."

"Neither was Iris until she discovered the US Women's Soccer team, right Iris?" Janey bites her lip, wiggles her eyebrows, and reaches out to nudge the blonde in her shoulder with a bent knuckle.

Iris blushes but covers it well. "They are very talented, I must admit." She looks down and sees the half-eaten box of candy in her hand, and seems relieved for the distraction. "Milk duds, anyone?"

Sue shakes her head but holds out the red and white box in her own hand. "Not for me, thank you. But would anyone like a roasted chestnut?"

"Ooh, that's what I can smell. Yes please," Mardou says, popping one in her mouth. 

"Well, we should let you get back to your _Iris' Big Day Out_, and us get back to our shopping," Janey says, linking her arm back into Sue's. "It was good to see you, though."

Mardou finishes chewing and swallows the chestnut. "Yeah, okay. You too," she says, and finds herself locking eyes with Sue again briefly.

Her attention is pulled away by Iris linking her arm into hers too. "Well I won't make you watch any sportsball, but would you be up for a quick coffee?"

"Sure," Mardou says. They bid the other couple farewell and meander off towards the courtyard cafe.


	3. December 23rd, 2019

**December 23**

Mardou wakes to the sound of Iris rushing around the apartment, the soft thumping of socked feet up and down the hallway, the clattering of doors and drawers. She stretches and yawns, well rested to the point of having almost overslept, and climbs out of bed, sliding her feet into her slippers and wrapping a light robe around her. As she exits her room she hears the unmistakable sound of glass breaking and follows the sound to the kitchen.

"Is everything okay in here?"

Iris, clinging onto the counter with her mouth agape, stares at the remnants of the coffee pot, which lies shattered on the floor. She laughs, a release of the nervous tension radiating off of her. "Yes. Yeah. I just forgot I was having a Christmas dinner party here this evening." She crouches down and begins picking up some of the larger pieces. "I planned it months ago. Obviously I thought things would be a little different than they are now. The last thing I want is for family and friends to show up to the undecorated house of the woman who was dumped two days ago."

Mardou notices the blonde's feet are bare and steps into the kitchen, the plastic soles of her slippers able to protect her better than nothing. "Do you want some help?"

"No," Iris leans across and opens one of the cupboards to find the dustpan and brush, "I've got it."

"You don't still have to host the party if you don't want to. People would understand." Mardou crouches down next to Iris so she can see her face.

Iris' sweeping with the small brush slows as she thinks. "I don't know. Usually Theo has all these events and galas and ceremonies he's invited to during the holidays, and I never feel like myself when I'm trying to impress his bosses and colleagues. I just thought if I had a party here, we'd just get to stay home for once, and I'd feel more confident."

"Well I like parties. Maybe we should still have a small holiday party with just the people who you don't feel you have to impress. That way you can relax and have a good time. Does that sound like a plan?"

"Yeah."

Mardou grins, satisfied with another practical solution. "Okay. Problem solved." 

Iris stands, and makes a move toward the trash can. 

"Wait," Mardou says quickly, grabbing a handful of Iris' robe, "don't move. There's glass all over the floor." She stands and takes the the dustpan, and empties the contents into the trash. She returns to Iris, stranded in a sea of sparkling shards, and crouches down to sweep as many of them as best she can, emptying the pan once more before placing it down and returning to Iris. "We'll need to vacuum before it's safe to walk around," she opens her arms to Iris, "let me get you out of here."

Iris looks at her, her eyes wide and mouth open slightly, unsure and unguarded. Mardou smiles and gestures again, and the blonde opens her arms slightly. Mardou bends her knees and wraps her arms around the other woman's waist, Iris' arms wrap around her shoulders, and she lifts her off the ground, carrying her to the safety of the living room. 

When Mardou places her down, Iris still has the same stunned look on her face, so the brunette smiles and squeezes her upper arms comfortingly. "You just relax. Send some messages to let people know the party is still on, and I'll take care of this glass. Then we'll go get some coffee."

Iris smiles. "Okay."

\-----

After a long but fun day of decorating the apartment and preparing finger food, the party is finally starting. Iris has whittled down the guest list to just her local family, Janey and another cousin from her mom's side, a handful of friends, and a few of her colleagues. Of them, half a dozen have already arrived. She and Iris are putting the last few candy canes into glasses as table decorations when Janey and Sue appear in the kitchen doorway, having let themselves in.

Iris' smile grows when she notices her cousin. "Janey, hey! Sue!" She greets her with a hug, and one for her girlfriend too. "It's so good seeing you."

Mardou follows Iris and greets the pair, hugging Janey. The size of the small kitchen and Janey and Iris being in between them makes it a little awkward, so after a moment they both just lean forward for a cheek kiss. "Hi."

"Oh I love this song," Sue says to Iris about the soft Christmas music playing in the background.

Janey reaches out and gently pinches her girlfriend's waist. "We could always go caroling around the neighbours after a few drinks if you like." Mardou raises her eyebrow as she catches Sue's eye, and the shorter brunette shakes her head and lowers her eyes modestly. "You should hear her sing," Janey says to Mardou.

Embarrassed hazel eyes flicker back up to meet Mardou's. "I'd love to, I'm sure she sings as beautifully as she plays guitar."

Sue opens her mouth to speak but Janey cuts in. "You've heard her play?"

"Yes," Mardou says, suddenly feeling a slight tension in the air.

"I forgot to tell you, I bumped into Mardou when I was busking yesterday," Sue explains to her girlfriend, taking her hand and placing her other on top of it, stroking gently.

"You know she's a music producer, right," Janey asks her.

"I do, yes," Sue says, glancing at Mardou again. Janey raises her eyebrows and grins meaningfully at Sue, but silence lingers for a moment, a little awkward, seemingly, for everyone except Janey.

Iris reaches for Janey's arm. "Oh, Janey, come with me. You have to try these pfeffernüsse. I used Oma's recipe, you can tell me honestly if they're as good as the ones she makes."

"She gave you the recipe? The top secret family recipe?" Janey says, allowing her cousin to lead her away.

"I think she felt sorry for me," Iris laughs. "At least something good has come from this mess."

Sue follows slowly, ending up beside Mardou in the doorway into the living area.

"Sorry about that, if I..." Mardou trails off, not quite sure whether she had said or done anything to cause Sue any grief.

"It's fine," Sue says quietly, "I shouldn't have kept it from her. She just..." Sue twists one of the rings on her fingers, a nervous habit, "she really wants me to try singing in front of people, and I knew if I told her that you had heard me play and given me your card she would start bringing it up again." Mardou nods in understanding. "She's very supportive and encouraging of my career, I just can't bear even thinking about it at the moment, with my mum and all."

Mardou watches the smaller woman but she keeps her eyes on the table laden with food and the few unfamiliar people milling around the sofas, and doesn't return the eye contact. Lou emerges from Iris' room where she had left her coat and bag, and Iris goes to talk to her leaving Janey by herself at the table. Janey gestures for Sue to come to her, and with a quick, shy smile to Mardou, she walks towards her girlfriend.

\----- 

A short while later, after a couple more guests have arrived, Mardou notices Iris' glass is empty, so she seizes the opportunity when the host is in between conversations and takes her another.

"Thank you," Iris accepts it and takes a much-needed sip.

"This is a really great party that you've thrown," Mardou says, casting her eye around the intimate gathering, everyone happily chatting to each other and nibbling on canapés.

"This is all because of you," Iris says with a wide smile. "Without you I would be an anxious mess, trying to entertain Theo's colleagues without losing it when they talk about him. Instead, romance is in the air." 

"Oh?"

Iris moves closer, then turns, and Mardou follows her line of sight. "Lou wasn't looking for love, that's for sure, but look." Across the room, Lou, with a pair of work gloves in her hand for some reason, chats to a cute brunette in a leather jacket. 

"Well, most of us aren't when we find it," Mardou says, feeling a slight flutter in her stomach where she has squashed down unfamiliar feelings of potentially being interested in romance after all that have risen in the past few days. 

Lou clumsily drops the gloves, picks them up, passes them to the woman, then doesn't seem to know what to do with her hands anymore, or herself. She stands like a baby giraffe and shoves her hands in her pockets.

"Not all of us have game, that's for sure," Mardou quips, and Iris, leaning in close, laughs freely. Mardou joins her, and they watch another few moments as Lou gets more and more flustered. "That's so bad," Mardou whispers, and they laugh again. Their eyes meet again and Mardou warms at seeing a genuine sparkle in Iris' eyes again. "Are you having fun?"

"I am." Iris holds her gaze, her eyes studying Mardou's face. Her smile falls away slightly and she sucks in a breath and licks her lips. "Well, I'd better go and mingle."

Mardou stays where she is, and looks around the room. Her ears prick up at the conversation being had on the couch nearby, where Janey and Sue sit with Steve, one of Iris' colleagues. She knows Iris was a little reluctant to invite him, she didn't particularly like him much but he was part of her team at work and she didn't feel she could cancel only one person from the office and still have the others come along.

"Oh, you two are together," he says, "that's cool. Very cool. Well, you make a beautiful couple. So beautiful."

"Thanks," Sue says, tensely.

The couple smile politely, though seem they uncomfortable in the way most women are all too familiar with, when nothing clearly inappropriate has been said but there is something in the tone that causes the hair on the back of your neck to rise.

"How long have you two been an item," he continues, seemingly with no awareness of, or regard for, their apparent discomfort.

"We met in high school--" Janey begins, but he quickly interrupts her.

"High school! Wow. Do you still have the uniforms?"

"No," Sue says flatly, taking a large sip of her wine, the muscles in her jaw taut.

He presses on anyway. "How do you keep it interesting after so long, do you ever bring a third into the mix? I'm single," he says with a wink.

"Pendejo," Janey mutters under her breath, and she and Sue rise from the sofa to walk away.

"Hey girls," he says, his voice rising, "where are you going? I was joking."

Mardou steps forward, putting herself between him and the couple. "Steve," she says, plying him with a smile she hopes he reads as threateningly as she intends. "I think you should go."

"I was just being friendly," Steve argues, "it was a joke."

Iris appears next to Mardou. "What's going on?"

"I was just kidding," he insists again. "I'm not one of _those_ guys. I respect women."

Iris steps closer until she's in right up close to him, staring into his eyes. "If you make a woman uncomfortable, it's not respectful."

He bristles at the confrontation and his eyes narrow. "You know, I didn't understand why Theo left you, at first, but I get it now." He pauses, letting his words sink in. "I'm leaving." 

They all watch him petulantly stalk out of the room, the door closing heavily behind him. 

Iris turns to see everyone looking at her, surprise on some faces, relief on others. She smiles broadly. "Anyone want drinks?"

People return to their conversations, and Janey and Iris lead the way to the open bottles of wine. Mardou finds herself alongside Sue again. "Are you alright?"

"Yes," Sue nods. "Thank you, for stepping in. I don't like to make a scene but what he said felt quite inappropriate."

"I overheard, and it was. I'm sorry." Mardou places her hand on Sue's back comfortingly, and the shorter woman smiles back at her.


End file.
